Social interactions

Friendship is understood as a relationship between two or more people who share affective and secure bonds. According to Burbach, friends are people who make you feel good, with whom you can relate, people who would never see you down and will cheer you when facing a problem. Friends are kind, they do nice things for their peers. 

People do not have the obligation to peer with certain individuals, so when they do is because of a reciprocal feeling -both of them feel like being friends, usually because they share common interests. Friends spend good times together, they enjoy their company. 

There are three main thesis which explain why people become friends

First of all, the thesis of active selection states that children select as friends those peers who are similar to them in different aspects. For example, if two boys are good in art they can end up being friends. Boys who play with a ball in the playground can become friends as well. Also, girls who have the same academic results can be friends. The next step is when those children with similar qualities, interests and attributes spend a lot of time together and those aspects that they share are increased as a consequence of mutual influence. Finally, with the last thesis similarities among friends experiment an accentuated process. If what friends share is music taste, talking about the topic and doing things together related to it can increase their love for the same music.

Friends are distinguised from the rest of the peers because frends have positive interactions -they talk more oftne than with other classmates-, they help each other if one of them is having a problem -for example, if one kid does not know how to resolve a math's problem, his friend will help with the resolution-. Friends give comfort, affection and security to each other. Also, the emotional comprehension is easier among friends. It is effortless and accurate to identify the emotions of someone with whom you spend most of the time together and know how this person is more likely to react to specific situations. There is also more confidence with friends than with a regular child from your same age. You do not talk about the same things with the kid who sits next to you than with your best friend. With friends you talk about what you like, what disturbs you, what are your concerns, you look for advices and someone who can understand how you are feeling. 

In school most children find friends and people with whom play and spend time together, but some other kids have to deal with rejection.

If the majority of students of a class are good at physical education, those who have troubles with sports are rejected from the rest of peers during those lessons. When it is time to pick teams they are always the last ones to choose, and sometimes even they are left out or the team do not want them. When playing a sport, they do not usually receive the ball. Rejected kids do not feel part of the team. But rejection can occur for other reasons. A child can be rejected because of physical appearence -if he has a physical disease, if he has to use a wheelchair or even if he has a different hair color such as red-, socio-economic status -if a kid always weares the same clothers and they are ripped and dirty, and smells quite bad he will be left out from his peers-, interests -a child can have different hobbies than his peers and this makes the other see this kid as a freak-, etc. 

Ignored children are those who are neither rejected nor accepted. They are there but no one notice their presence. They play alone, do not have people with whom work together. In brief, there is no peers interaction for ignored children. On the other hand, there are the popular kids who are accepted by everyone, are nice to their peers, always trying to solve conflicts. Every child wants to be friend with this popular kid as he has a high social impact. Rejected and ignored kids look up to the popular one. They dream about being like them.

In school can be found a mix of popular and ignored children who are labelled as controversial. Controversial children are those who express positive and negative social behaviors, they do not have any interest in being part of a group and usually tend up being rejected without being aggressive, which is one of the most charactersitics aspects of rejected kids.

This conceptual map summarizes the types of kids that can be found in a school:

It is important to have friends during the school-ages as it has been proved that a lack of friend can provoke emotional and mental diffitulties in the years that follow by. Having freinds provides you with a healthy development. When having friends, children do not only learn how to play cooperative but also social skills -communication, cooperation, solving problems-, they practice self-regulation when being with friends and are able to identify emotions on friends and helping them with its resolution.

This is why children should look for friends. Some advices that can facilitate the search of similar peers are being comfortable with youself and with the people with whom you want to be friends, be nice to others, look acceptable to other's eyes, have a positive attitude -smile regulary and laugh when someone is making a joke-, and never judge people before knowing them.